death wish

if i were an atheist, I'd kill myself just now
decaying on soil six feet below
no heaven nor hell on the next stop
just dead...

silent space

it's true
i am a chaos in quiet

gloomy cloud on the edge of bright sky

noise on old cassettes play

mixed grounds on hot coffee you hold

there's nothing in that chaos to hold on
an empty space without entropy

not enough yet

me here and she across
we're nothing, but..

we talked about rain

asking my favorite color

sayin good morning each other

calling her silly

being mad

but you there across, in a distance
we're nothing but good friend
she said

thursday it is

aku ingin egois saat ini, tidak beralasan
kalau saja kau mengerti
nanti kau akan mengerti

sementara ini aku akan mencari alasan
mungkin bukan yang kau kira, satu hal sederhana
jangan khawatir, hal ini tidak akan sering

me, she, writings

i wrote,
i may not reply your messages right away
i may not be always there for you
i will not buy you things you don't need
i can not be a funny guy all the time
i will not keep you dry on rain
i may lied to you

but i will call you whenever you are alone
i will spare my shoulder for you to lean
i will tell lame jokes when I've run out the good one
i will try singing a song even my voice is not that good
i will be running in rain with you

she writes,
I'm telling you
most of the time i could be inexplicably impatient
but it because i barely feel safe
and i am afraid of the world around

lies are so intolerable

i don't wanna things you could buy
i just want a trust, a guarantee
so i could learn to trust once again
then i would smile,
without pain to bear no more

i know you are not that funny
but sure i can make us laugh hard
if you don't sing, then i would

yes, i will cry on your shoulder sometimes
but i promise it wont happen too often

just promise me you will keep your words and help me to put trust on you
cause i had enough crying and those stuff

ps:
:)

rarieut

hilang orientasi waktu, tidak bisa berpikir
kepala berat oleh massa yang tidak tampak
jantung berdetak sekenanya
hidung meler hingga mati rasa
serta nyamuk nyamuk biadab itu

perasaan mengambang yang sangat amat tidak nyaman
aku butuh obat penenang